I Hear A Clock Ticking

You live long enough, and really you only need to be in your 20's or 30's to experience this, and it's bound to happen. An old flame, be it an ex-girlfriend/boyfriend, crush, fling, whatever, gets engaged.

It might even be worse than seeing them get married because, as much finality as there is in a wedding, you normally have a year or so to prepare yourself. And, ideally, be happy for your former paramour. An engagement, though, even if expected, is sudden and swift and just hits you, however you may hear the news.

I heard about Kimmy getting engaged last night. I was on my way home from a barbeque at my sister and bro-in-law's when a text message hit my phone. I ignored it until I got inside, kicked off my shoes, flipped on ESPN, grabbed a Diet Coke, and was in full-on chill mode. Maybe God wanted it that way.

My phone screen flashed the words: "From Kimmy Whitlow - He asked me to marry him. :-) "

My first thought, and uttered response was: Wow.

I texted her back right away, already feeling bad that I had ignored the message for 10 or so minutes anyway until I'd gotten settled, and offered both my congratulations and admiration of Chris. He's a good man. I've always liked him in their two or three years of dating. Even went to Vegas once with her and him. My kudos were genuine.

But all day today I've felt a tinge of sadness and I think I know why. Kimmy was never a girlfriend, she was your classic situation where her and I both expressed feelings for each other, but it was when she had a boyfriend, and by the time she ended it with him, she then said she needed to be single for a while. I was hurt but I understood. After a few months she met Chris and I sensed, correctly as it turned out, this could be the one for her.

So it wasn't that this Fourth of July weekend proposal was altogether shocking, or that I was sad about forever losing Kim, because neither would be true. I figured he would pop the question before too long and, although I've always maintained feelings for her, they've never been strong enough to dislike her current relationship or prevent me from pursuing my own ones.

It's just that...that's it...that's another failed romance. Not failed as in screwed-up but failed as in unrequited. Every time a former love interest gets engaged it's like, well, "Another One Bites the Dust". And you look at your age and current relationship status - single - and you worry a little.

It's a wakeup call too because there are too many women out there who I like, or have dated, or both, who are in relationships. They say every life experience prepares you for future ones. Well, who's to say they don't get rings here pretty soon? Was Kimmy's text a practice run for that?

I don't know. I really am happy for her and reinforced that in another message to her today - Chris is a good and loyal man and he didn't take her for granted and hold out on proposing. He was the right man at the right time and they truly belong together. My happiness for them is legit.

But I look in the mirror and I just hear a clock ticking. I'm in no rush, per se, but I'm tired of looking around and seeing nothing but exes. Some of them become somebody's permanent one eventually.