Defining Yourself

So we're at Bub's last night, a pub just a half-block from beautiful PETCO Park, celebrating our Padres' 11-2 triumph over the Braves. Scotty B. had encouraged co-workers to get together for an early-summer night out and the win added excitement to the evening for the 20 people who heeded Scott's invitation.

As we're getting settled in, finding tables and booths and such, I lift my arm to flag down a server I know named Becca. Pip is standing next to me and points out that Becca is headed our way so I get ready to call out her name.

Suddenly a guy steps forward, stands right in front of me and says, "Captain Hook!"

I look at Pip, she looks at me, and we both make an expression indicating Who is this dude?

Again, he looks at my arms, looks back at me and exclaims, "Captain Hook!"

He's a little bit taller than me, but not by much, and doesn't look very drunk, so I'm really not feeling intimidated - just surprised and annoyed. Pip, on the other hand, is ready to punch him in his Ed Hardy-draped stomach.

So I forget about hailing down Becca and I take my extended arm and move it towards this This Guy, who is laughing at his name for me. "Captain Hook!" <Chews gum quickly while smiling.>

Pip's eyes grow wide and I take my right arm and I swing my body around and I......reach out to shake his.

"Hi, I'm Alex, what's your name?"

He didn't know what to do. I don't know if he thought I'd throw a haymaker, or maybe he was surprised I could talk, but douchebag looked pretty startled.

"What? Uhhh..." he stammered, "Ummm, never mind, buddy." With that he patted me on the shoulder - better than my head I suppose - and walked away.

"What a jerk!" Pip says, "Who does that?"

She then says she would've liked to pop him so I tell her: hey, welcome to my world. Sometimes these arms attract freaks, jerks, and rude ragamuffins. It happens. But stooping down to their level is not the answer.

See, he was trying to define me. This Guy had no idea of my name, background, story, nothing.  But he saw two prosthetics so I became Captain Hook to him. Apparently he expected me to respond either bitterly, or slowly, or maybe as a pirate.

But I defined myself in that moment by responding cooly and, in fact, friendly. Sure I get in bad or mad moods but in that moment, I wanted to seize the control.

In life, you define yourself. Don't let others define you, dictate your mood, or push you to act in a way contrary to what you want.

Today I helped out at work with our Padres Scholars program, which since 1995 has provided over $2 million in scholarships to disadvantaged students. We honored them in a pre-game ceremony and I realized how these were students and graduates who embody that principle. Many of them come from schools or areas where it's against the norm to strive academically. They probably get told it's not worth working hard in school or harboring large dreams. But they define themselves as students, as leaders, as scholars, as winners. And I'm proud the Padres support them.

Don't let the world drag you down or tick you off. Be they jerks in bars or doubters in school or work, adversaries will come. They will try to define who you are but prove them wrong. Define your identity and show that identity to be that of a winner.